I have had so many thoughts rolling through my head lately without a clear vision of where to go with them, but I am going to try my best to share them.
I have been out of school on summer break now for just over a week, and it. has. been. GLORIOUS!
The kids and I took an impromptu vacation with one of my sisters and her two kiddos to Great Wolf Lodge in Dallas. We had a blast! When we returned, the kids were able to catch the last two days of VBS at our church, so during those two mornings, for the first time in MONTHS I had some some time by myself. Like, completely alone.
At first I didn’t really know what to do with myself. I quickly came to the realization that I could get some grocery shopping done without kiddos bickering in the buggy, “accidentally” knocking things off the shelves, or publicly embarrassing me by making fart noises and laughing annoyingly loud about it.
While at the grocery store, I had a choice to make: I could stick to my list of healthy things to buy to climb back on my “health wagon” once again, or I could buy junk and rush home and hide it from the kids to savor all to myself. I was good. THIS time.
I proudly marched my healthy assortment of fruits, veggies, and proteins through the door and put them away. I ate a healthy lunch (heirloom tomatoes topped with slices of avocado, goat cheese, and a drizzle of olive oil), and a healthy dinner (chicken topped with tomato sauce, cheese, and pepperoni with sweet potato and broccoli). I was patting myself on the back for a great first day back on the wagon, and then I saw a commercial for a Baskin Robbins warm cookie sundae. Oh. My. Yum.
I had to have it.
So I did.
All of it.
We have all heard the term “pride comes before the fall”, and boom. I fell. Hard.
The next day started well, and then for dinner we dropped by Chick-Fil-A. I saw their yummy cookies on the menu and ordered 6 (to share of course). The sweet kid on the other end of the drive-thru speaker informed me that they were out of cookies for the day. I pouted.
I’m pretty sure that was God providing me a way out. Please. He was basically screaming “slow your roll, cow!!!!” But instead of taking my out, I dug my hole deeper. I stopped by the Walgreens before heading home. While there, I became the proud owner of the entire snack aisle. Not kidding. A bag of double-stuffed Oreos, birthday cake Oreos, dark chocolate Milano cookies, and let’s not forget, the large bag of puffy Cheetos. Like, whoa. Hello Aunt Flo!!!!
After indulging in my shameful purchases, I immediately felt God speaking to me. “It’s not too late. It’s not to late for you to change. For good. I see you in your shame and I still love you. It’s not too late to start again.”
God knows me. He knows how embarrassed I get after I binge on junk knowing that I shouldn’t. He knows that I would rather just say “screw it” and turn into a large pumpkin shell of a person that doesn’t go anywhere or enjoy life with my kids because it is easier to quit than keep trying. He knows all of these things about me and still chooses to say “it’s not too late” directly to my heart. I know it is God speaking because that is not my thought process in the natural.
So after my quiet moment with God, I resolved to make a plan.
- I vowed to return to the Monday, Wednesday, Friday workouts at 5:15 am during the summer. If you are local (Bossier/Shreveport area) and you would like to join me, I will be at Christ Fit gym, which is free/donations only! I’d love to see you there!
- On most of my days off from the gym, I will be training for my half marathon by going on runs.
- return to logging meals on My Fitness Pal. Accountability is key! If I know I’ll be logging it, I’ll be less likely to eat it if it doesn’t help me meet my goals.
- get body fat percentages down by returning to a low-carb, high fat, moderate protein intake and monitoring my macros by continuing to log into MFP for everything I eat.
- plan and shop for LCHF meals that my family enjoys one week at a time (Pinterest is my best friend)
- stay accountable to you guys by writing at least once a week and posting my weight for the world to read. I know this is a little extreme for most, but I think this extra layer of accountability really helps me.
I know that life is all about balance, and there will be a few times that I can indulge here in there, but I have to be able to accept the results that come with that. If I indulge and don’t see the results that I want, that is on me. If I want to see change, I have to change. Simple. (I wish).
So here I go again! 87th time’s a charm…right?!
I’ll leave you with the scripture my pastor shared just this morning:
12 “I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things
or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess
that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me.
13 No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it,
but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and
looking forward to what lies ahead.
14 I press on to reach the end of the race and
receive the heavenly prize for which God,
through Christ Jesus, is calling us.”
Philippians 3:12-14 NLT
Your Friend in the Fight Against Fat,